This month has treated me with the tender kindness of paper shredder to the seven-year-old credit card statement you found that remembers how much you spent a month on french-tipped acrylic nails and sheer blouses that were beyond your budget (and dress size! Though wasn’t it awesome to zip up an outfit with only one number size on the tag in 2003 instead of resorting to the 2010 method of Sharpie-ing out the digits and marking in a number we really want [answer: -0!]. It has been financially draining, emotionally exhausting and mostly a bunch of aaaaaaargh.
There has been a funeral, a roundtrip flight with a baby, an overheated engine, a screaming child who had to be fireman-carried out of a bookstore, a mother who flew back home to Saipan and claimed to the TSA agent who discovered that the KNIVES she bought from Sears that were found in her carry-on luggage was simply an ACCIDENT (luckily, my brother was there to retrieve them. No terrorist harm, no post-9/11 foul, though it must be said, gently, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, MOTHER!?? KNIVES?! YOU DON’T FORGET KNIVES! You forget the Circle the Word book you bought in the airport gift shop or the bag of trail mix you were going to eat on board because you don’t want to pay seventeen dollars for a sandwich but hey, you remember the silver-tipped killing instrument that has been BANNED SINCE THE WRIGHT BROTHERS!)
But hey! It’s not all a sad music soundtrack you can smoke your clove cigarettes to! My co-worker lost her credit card on the street and I found it in a wet pile of leaves by the curb! Hooray! My baby is standing up! Soon, he will be walking! Hooray! Which means we’ll have to get around to installing babygates at the stairs and not just yelling, “Hey turn around baby!” when he gets too close. Not hooray!
So here is one of my favorite Christmas movies: Mickey’s Christmas Carol. It came out in 1983, the same year I was born, so you know what that means! It gets better with age! *COUGAR WINK*