please don’t let me be the outer spoon

Thank you all for your kind comments about my last post. As difficult as it is to talk about such hard topics, I am incredibly thankful at how wonderful you are. I tell you I’m feeling blue and you say collectively, “Sister girl, I’ll queue up the Blu-Ray edition of The Notebook and bring a can of Four Loko contraband and we will cry. it. out.”

Tomorrow night I have to board a plane to travel to Boise, Idaho for my aunt’s funeral. I will be taking TJ since I’m still nursing and it’ll be hard to make Mike lactate in such a short time frame and in the division of parenting labor, I take the baby and Mike handles Nathan. It’s the man-on-man defense that seems to work so far. But this means I’ll have to fly without no other support. I don’t know how I’ll handle the TSA groping or other check-in melées or how I’m going to keep an eight-month-old entertained during a two-hour flight. What if he starts crying hysterically and they shove us out the door mid-flight? Will they at least push us out somewhere near Silverwood Theme Park? I had a good time on the bumper cars when I was in college. Do the animatronic bears still say, “Good things come in bears?” or does that only happen after you’ve been drinking? We’ll find out!

What is an even bigger stress factor is that my mom will be there. She’s flying from Saipan and will be in Boise before I arrive. We will be sharing a room because telling her that TJ and I are staying in another room will be like saying I’ve signed her up for a nursing home and of course, do not love her at all. What I worry about is that when my mom checks in, she will not ask for two separate beds. And if she is offered two beds, she will refuse and say, “It’s okay!” So I’m 27 years old, I did well in school, I have two children but I’m going to SPOON WITH MY MOTHER.

I love my mother but I think I have earned my own bed. Right? I think I have earned the right not to spoon with my mom. I’ve heard of attachment parenting but dammmmn.

I have been seeking the upsides of going out of town for a funeral. I’ll get to spend time with my baby. I’ll be out of town so I’ll get to be a tourist in the swinging town of Boise, Idaho. Also, I’ll be seeing family members I haven’t seen since I was a child. Plus, my dad’s family are the type of people who no matter what you look like, you are still far too skinny. And isn’t that the best kind of welcome? Let us take your coat, kiss your baby and here’s a plate of pork belly, you don’t look like gout has set in.

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  1. Have a safe trip- and good luck with your mom!

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your aunt and your upcoming accomodations with your mom. To lift your spirits, you should head down to a sports bar near the BSU campus and loudly talk about how Kellan Moore isn’t going to win the Heisman because he doesn’t deserve it, and that kicker Kyle Brotzman is part of a huge conspiracy theory to undermine BSU’s chances in any future bowl games. That should be loads of fun and help you make lots of new friends who want to buy you drinks.

  3. You are fantastic.

  4. If you know the hotel you’re staying at, call ahead of time and leave a note with the reservation stating “2 BEDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD” 🙂

    On my trip to SE Asia with my sister, we occasionally ended up in rooms with one bed (king size) and one morning apparently I spooned my sister. It’s a bit embarrassing but oh well, it’s not like anyone can control their actions while asleep!

  5. Good luck on the flight. And I would suggest calling the hotel you’re staying at ahead of time and explaining that you NEED 2 beds, no matter what your mother (who may check-in first) may say, so please put a note in the computer and don’t even ask the woman who checks in first!

  6. i’m not relating! i am so so far away from fam, that i’m kinda sick about it.
    i’m the family member that rushes to the front desk (hotels are the only time we’re together – we are all so scattered) to ask for the smallest number of beds possible. that way i MIGHT spoon with ___________ sister, mom, grandmother (insert fave)
    i’m still so needy its not even funny. throw momma a bone & bunk in together. when my peeps do it for me, i am sooooo happy (even though i know they’re cringing!!!!)

  7. I’m sorry for your loss. Hope you have a smooth flight.

  8. You had me laughing out loud and crying at the same time.

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