I like to think of myself as a champion of health, a shining beacon of fist-pumping, sick leave-accruing Charlie Sheen level WINNING. And then I caught a cold that no amount of over the counter medicines has been able to conquer. It’s like, I just want whatever is as close to meth without it actually being meth. I need the hardcore drugs but none of the itching, facial sores and crazy talk. I do that on a regular basis.
I used two sick days to stay at home and accomplish my number one goal of breathing as comfortably as possible though most breaths felt like a chestpunch. So these were not fun sick days like when I was a kid and my mom would make me cereal with a “surprise” that was really fruit cocktail mixed it and it worked miracles. I don’t think my insurance covers someone coming into my house and asking me if I want to eat cereal and watch Muppet Babies. Now I just have two kids who don’t flipping care if mommy is bent over and coughing like her blackened lungs are giving out.
Now I’m back at work, annoyed with the tissue box that didn’t color its last few tissues yellow so how was I supposed to know that it was almost empty, especially when I was in need! Explain yourself tissue makers!
So how are you doing, Internet friend?