I need a prescription for Tiger Blood

I like to think of myself as a champion of health, a shining beacon of fist-pumping, sick leave-accruing Charlie Sheen level WINNING. And then I caught a cold that no amount of over the counter medicines has been able to conquer. It’s like, I just want whatever is as close to meth without it actually being meth. I need the hardcore drugs but none of the itching, facial sores and crazy talk. I do that on a regular basis.

I used two sick days to stay at home and accomplish my number one goal of breathing as comfortably as possible though most breaths felt like a chestpunch. So these were not fun sick days like when I was a kid and my mom would make me cereal with a “surprise” that was really fruit cocktail mixed it and it worked miracles. I don’t think my insurance covers someone coming into my house and asking me if I want to eat cereal and watch Muppet Babies. Now I just have two kids who don’t flipping care if mommy is bent over and coughing like her blackened lungs are giving out.

Now I’m back at work, annoyed with the tissue box that didn’t color its last few tissues yellow so how was I supposed to know that it was almost empty, especially when I was in need! Explain yourself tissue makers!

So how are you doing, Internet friend?

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Comments

  1. Same thing! All 3 of us were sick last week and it’s better (slightly) but not gone. My teeth started to hurt and someone said that might mean a sinus infection. Then I took the little red pill my husband suggested. And I might add that I do not like taking things but wow! I took a few of these guys. I think they are the pills used to make meth. I feel like taking another one now (just bc we’re talking about it). Think I’m addicted? Should I just move straight on to meth? Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. This totally sucks. And to make it worse is I have the kid that won’t blow his nose and freaks out about it. Fun times.

  2. I have been fighting a cold for who knows how long now. I feel your pain.

    The other thing I am dealing with right now is my obsession with Charlie Sheen. I just can’t get enough of the crazy and I am seriously thinking about joining Twitter just so I can be up on the crazy 24/7.

  3. Oh no, being sick is so much less restful once you’re a mom. I hope you feel better soon!
    Ellie @ The Mommyist recently posted..Five Questions for Dr Eric Blake ND DLAc on SALDANATION

  4. Ugh, that sounds awful… I don’t have a cold, but I have been fighting a massive headache since last night. Didn’t take a sick day since my supervisor is already out sick (with over 100 degree fever), and hey, someone has to man the post. Even if that someone feels like there’s a miniature jackhammer implanted into her temple… Hope you can find some meds to help! Either way, tomorrow’s Friday so there’s that bright spot at least. šŸ™‚

  5. Puffs doesn’t color their tissues. But they’re so superior they don’t have to. Hope you feel better soon.
    Half Assed Kitchen recently posted..Sour cream chocolate chip banana bread

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