I’m waiting in the doctor’s office to get some professional help for this plague I’ve been suffering through. I have spent $$$ on pills, sprays and syrups and I still look so sick, it’s as if I’m on that show Intervention and we’re on the last day of filming. If that doesn’t make any sense, I will blame my cold medicine cocktail, which if I were healthier would probably taste awful.
That’s probably the worst part of this sickness, the loss of my taste buds. I can’t taste anything. I feel texture and crunch but there isn’t any sweetness or salt, savory or spice. I don’t know if the pizza is burnt, if the eggs are overcooked, or if the new French Vanilla coffee beans I bought are most awesome. I want to taste things in my mouth! That’s what she said! Before she died of pneumonia.
The woman next to me is reading this book on cruises with the subtitle: The romance of cruising. That’s how I would be on a cruise, all lovey dovey with everything. And assuming my sense of smell is restored, you don’t even want to see how I’ll be loving it up at the crab leg buffet. Yeah you can look at me with those judgey eyes but I need my liquid butter in a bowl! You’re lucky I didn’t stick my open mouth into the white chocolate fountain, forcing the cruise line to both give me the whole dessert fount and ban me for life.
Hey update!!! I have a double ear infection. Please see other parts of my body, VIRUSES, for infection real estate since my ears are full. And how am I so easily crippled by something BABIES get?!