the longest cold

I’m finally at the end of The Longest Cold Ever. There’s a bit of residual yuck sticking around but I no longer am experiencing the sinus pressure so awful I want to pluck my eyeball out with a melonballer.

I wondered if I would never be able to smell anything again, my habit of imagining the most extreme of whatever situation I am in at the moment.

I like to extreme it up, to take my boring Starbucks drive-thru experience to the X-Level, wondering what would happen if the Venti mocha latte spilled on my lap and seared my thigh skin off and I couldn’t hold my baby until I healed and when my coffee burns finally subsided into thick red patterns, TJ would be in therapy blaming his skulduggery on the fact that his mother didn’t hold him.

I’m sure he’ll end up in therapy for other reasons like how I like to hold him in public because a large baby hides my post-partum belly sag and babies make awesome frontal accessories when your spanx girdles have outworn its elastic life.. It’s true!

I had read about a woman who lost the ability to smell anything and I imagined that even when the cold went away, I wouldn’t be able to smell my baby’s feet again or the fancy lotion samples from Sephora I’ve been rationing to myself in microscopic drops because I’m not going to ever spend the $100 on the full-sized tube.

But now that the world of smells is returning (which sadly includes full diapers and unwashed dudes on the bus) I can move on to other matters like my weight loss which as of this writing is 17.6 pounds. Seventeen pounds! That’s the size of humongous overfed cats and newborn babies that make the record books and other things that weigh seventeen pounds. But in my life it means I’ve gone down a dress size and now I no longer have to look at Target bedding as an option for clothing because nothing else would fit. I’m thinking that when I hit my goal weight, I’d like to buy myself an iPad 2. Now that I’m losing weight, I don’t have to look for gadgets with a wide-lens or filters that replaces my face with that of a super cute 11-month-old baby.

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Comments

  1. I love your blog. I have never commented because I’m horrible at commenting and typing things with sentences but I love your blog and thought my first comment should say so.

  2. Good job on the weight loss. And my goodness, he is so cute!!!
    Carrie recently posted..Facebook makes the world a small place

  3. My grandpa actually DID lose his sense of smell when he was like 35. I think he got a concussion or something… But he survived! ๐Ÿ™‚ He’s 80 now and still in awesome shape, and he seems to have gotten over the tragedy of not getting to smell any of my grandma’s awesome cooking.

    Glad you’re feeling better! ๐Ÿ™‚

    And WAY TO GO on the weight loss! Whoo hoo! You’re so skinny now if we read this blog sideways your picture will disappear.

  4. Wow – congratulations on 17 lbs! That’s great.
    And the colds this season have been particularly sadistic ๐Ÿ™ Glad yours is at its end.

    Also, my cats are 17 lbs, and I assure you, they’re just big boned!
    Leslie recently posted..Public

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