diets for elephants

I’ve lost 23 pounds since starting this crazy diet thing called Not Eating Chinese Buffet Goodness and I’ve finally plateaued. What was usually a one to two pound weight loss per week has now slowed to a steady half pound to less and I’m stuck with the one thing I have been fighting: exercise.

I took a walk during my lunch break and the word “walk” is really a stretch for what I did, which was just watch myself in every window and reflective surface I passed by. It was like I was my own audience, watching How many calories does narcissism burn? Or just the inquisitive look that I find when I see how much room I take on a mirror? Or the weeping when I realize how much work I have left to do before I look like a normal person and airlines stop requiring that I have to buy an extra seat? Or the fetal-position wailing when I figure out that it was a stupid idea to buy that Calvin Klein dress in a size smaller than I am because what if it doesn’t run large and when I finally suck in my stomach so it can zip up, someone will say, “That’s Calvin Klein? I didn’t know he made maternity clothes. For elephants.”

I need to do more than walk, but I’ve done so much to reprogram the way I eat. I reach for vegetarian options–tofu banh mi sandwiches or veggie burritos. Luckily, Seattle is filled with restaurants that make these choices easy. On Saipan, it would be so difficult to attend a party and not fill up on pork, unless your diabetes has already kicked in and you’re rocking one leg! When I eat heavier fare here, I enjoy it, like I’ve been invited to some king’s feast and my husband has to ask me to refrain from making those sinful-act faces and the “MMMMMM” sounds at the taco stand, people are watching.

Are you working out? What are you taking up that works? I’m ready to make some sort of effort. Most of my workouts involve holding this guy in my lap. He’s very good at re-directing all food headed toward my mouth to his.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


  1. We’ve recently stalled out too so we’re doing some experimenting and incorporating a lot more walking each day. Also I will be looking to increase my personal pork consumption, in order to bring balance to the universe.

  2. I highly recommend the Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred. Here’s why:

    1. There are three levels of pain on that disc and I just did level one for about a year and it was totally effective the whole time.
    2. She’s not mean on the DVD.
    3. It’s only a 20 minute workout, so by the time your muscles start really complaining you’re almost finished.
    4. There’s an “advanced” person and a “beginner” person doing each workout behind Jillian so you can tailor what you’re doing to your skill level.

    Seriously. you should try it. Good luck!
    Leslie recently posted..Just another weekend

  3. It’s like we’re twins (which is bad news for you, sadly). I started walking to work yesterday. I mean, I started the process, I don’t mean that I’m still walking from yesterday. But it made me think that I should be working from home.

    Seriously though, when the NYC subway/bus system went on strike a few years ago and I was forced to walk to work, I lost so much weight. And the will to live.
    Marinka recently posted..Know What’s Funny

  4. The only exercise I can stick with is Yoga. It’s the only thing I enjoy, except pilates which is way too pricy for me.
    Ellie @ The Mommyist recently posted..Spring Cleaning

  5. I’m a fan of group fitness classes. I tend to wimp out when I’m the one in charge of how much I exercise 🙂 And any sort of DVD is great – there’s less room for excuses when there aren’t gym hours or road conditions or needing childcare to contend with. Beachbody has some great programs.

    A book just came out called The Great Fitness Experiment (she has a blog, too) – you can peruse what she tried and see if any of them sound like fun.

  6. Hot Yoga. HOt Hot Yoga. It saved me from heart break. And made me lose go from 158 to 130 in months. And I loved it. Also my diet changed a lot because I did not have a jerk that wanted pasta everynight living with me anymore. That and bike riding. Ahh, than I got pregnant and now do not have the time to get to yoga. So, FYI, I am not 130 anymore.

  7. I joined Community Fitness in the U District. It’s just a studio that offers a ton of group fitness classes, and an unlimited monthly membership is just $50. There I take Zumba, Nia, spin cycling, but they also offer yoga, body pump and tons of other classes. I find the group setting much more motivating than working out solo at a traditional gym. Plus, it’s fun!

    Let me know if you ever want to try a drop-in class. I’m there 3-4 times per week.

  8. I’ve plateaued with my weight loss too. So I’m taking a two week break from my diet. Yay bread! And cheese!

    I do kettlebells 3x a week. I just do the swings, I do three sets of 30 now and gradually working until I can do a 100 a day before I try any of the other fancy things they do. It takes just ten minutes and I’ve gotten crazy strong from it.

    Other than that I run sometimes (when it’s not butthole cold or raining) but mostly just try and walk more. I’m going to buy pedometer and try for 5 miles a day or 10,000 steps. So, we’ll see…
    Sarah recently posted..Snippets of now

  9. honestly…i’m training for a half marathon. 5 days a week of working out. 3 days of running and two days of cross training/weights/other stretching things. it’s hard and i’m scared (i’ve only run 5 miles once in my life). and i’m starting there then working on food. damn you food!

  10. I’m going this way too… Started to walk a lot, riding a bike… But this is all for nothing without proper diet!
    Petra recently posted..Dating advice and tips – another funny way

  11. Slauditory says:

    I recommend Jackie Warner’s Personal Training DVD, which breaks down exercises into 15-minute sections pertaining to different sets of muscles, and then there’s a 40-minute full-body workout on that DVD, too.

    I also recommend Pilates for core strength and muscle lengthening. I like the Crunch: Super Slim Down video on Netflix Watch Instantly for that.

    By the way, Netflix Watch Instantly has a lot of workout DVDs, so you can use that to experiment and find what works for you!

    I also love kickboxing. It really gets the heart rate up.

  12. I hate working out, and yet 8 out of 10 pairs of my pants no longer fit comfortably, so apparently I too need to get over this.

    The one and only thing I do enjoy is walking. Walking, walking, walking. It does help having the dogs though, makes me feel like I have to do it for them and not my ass. Even though it is most definitely for my ass.

    Tried the videos and my ceiling fan nearly took off my fingers, HATE the gym, weights are evil, and I like to eat.

    The point of this comment was simply to say that I am hopeless.
    Ashley, the Accidental Olympian recently posted..THIS BLOG IS ABOUT MOOSE- OR SOMETHING

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge