the royal wedding watcher

On Friday morning around 12:30 AM, I will call my sister, my family’s official royal watcher and our wedding commentary will commence. My sister Bobbie has a Cray computer-sized database on every royal European family member. In her brain are files of who is married to whom and of those couples, who are the commoners. She knows what they did before they were wooed by the royals. She knows how many children are in each family, what the customs are, what their names mean, what work they have had done.

I don’t have nearly that amount of information in my brain. My head is too crammed with other important information, like Babysitter Club plotlines, what packages I’m expecting from Amazon or where I keep my keys. Or the last place I kept my keys, where was the LAST place you had your keys, Mona?! Think! THINK!

The other day, my sister said, “Mona! You could have had a chance!” Meaning, that I had some sliver of a hope that I would have been accepted into St. Andrews and won the heart of Prince William. I’m sure I would have been denied acceptance based on the fact that I try to cut things with a fork when I’m too lazy to get up and grab a knife (Just put some muscle into it!). Also, what would I do when I finally met the Prince? Would he size me up and then utter the words that any girl would be lucky to hear: “ARE YOU HERE TO REFILL MY DRINK?”

I’ve mentioned before that my sister is one of my favorite people in the whole world. I love her very much even though, sometimes my sister will offer me advice out of nowhere, especially if it’s about my skin or clothing. Like, “Do you need moisturizer Mona for your scaly skin?” even though I hadn’t mentioned my skin at all, I was just talking about the Royal Wedding cake that’s made out of rainbows. Still, I am very much looking forward to sharing this experience with her, even if it means I will be up at 12:30 AM PST to get the BBC coverage before moving onto the American channels.

That’s how committed I am. I’m getting ready to order my Royal Heirloom Ring and tell my family my new line:

Will you be watching the wedding?

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Comments

  1. I’m still undecided- getting up at 3 AM is SO early. But on the other hand, I really don’t want to miss it. So, probably will be watching 🙂
    Carrie recently posted..Easter weekend

  2. Yes, I’m going to watch! I’m going to have mimosas and maybe some of those special Dunkin’ Donuts wedding doughnuts.
    Swistle recently posted..It Doesnt Put Me in the Mood to Go Swimming

  3. I’ll watch the wedding but not live. I plan to watch it with girlfriends that evening.
    Ellie @ The Mommyist recently posted..Easter

  4. I am SO EXCITED For this dang wedding. I have coverage on 2 channels plus some pre-game shows set to record on the dvr.

    THIS IS MY SUPERBOWL!!!

  5. I can’t wait!! I was just in London in January and I think I should hop on a flight again tonight so I can be there! I toured Westminster Abbey and all I could think about was the wedding. Last week I had a dream about the wedding and I was there. Strange! I’ll be up to watch it even though my husband says to Tivo it. I need to see it live!

  6. YES! Mike & I are both working from home on Friday so we can stay up all night and watch. I’m buying champagne so we can have mimosas. IM SO EXCITED!
    chelsea recently posted..Ten 10! Miles!

  7. I am super excited. Do you watch the show The Middle on ABC? THey had a whole episode about the mom wanting to watch the wedding, it was so funny. If you have BBC America they have stuff on there all week about the royal family and stuff, so interesting!

  8. No cause I don’t have a tv but I really want to!! By the way, sentences/tone like this: “Or the last place I kept my keys, where was the LAST place you had your keys, Mona?! Think! THINK!” Is the reason I LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing. So effing funny.

  9. I lived in England for three years as a kid, so my mom and I totally claim the Royal Family. We got up early to watch Charles and Di, we watched Sarah and Andrew, and we will be up early to watch William and Kate’s too! Tweet or message me during Mona!! Would love to hear your sister’s commentary…bet it will be good!
    Glam-O-Mommy recently posted..Ten on Tuesday

  10. I wish I wasn’t the only one in my fam who thinks royal wedding are AWESOME and second only to the Oscars in live, televised entertainment value. Someone on the radio described weddings as “sporting events for women,” and I guess that’s true.

    Also I suddenly feel very lucky to live in the central time zone, which means I only have to get up at 5 a.m. to watch the nuptials LIVE! Sadly, hubby has to be at work around 5:30 Friday, so… It will just be me and the cats huddling around the TV sighing blissfully at Wills and Kate.

    I’ll totally be following your tweets throughout the wedding. 🙂
    Brittany recently posted..Easter Recap

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