Last night the boys and I treated Mike to a birthday dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I don’t know why I wrote that like they were in the planning process or more importantly, the PAYING part of the meal because they both certainly were not. Nathan has no concept of money, only that quarters let him play the claw game and he has to plunk in the change himself, even when all I have is a dollar and he’s starting to cry because he wants a quarter even though, child, a dollar is FOUR QUARTERS. That’s the kind of math I can do.
The dinner was lovely and Mike held TJ while our baby drank milk from a straw for the first time. Of course he does it while daddy’s around! Not while Mommy is pleading. At least at our next doctor’s appointment, there will be less for the pediatrician to judge me on! And because Mike was holding TJ, I could take a shot of tequila for the birthday boy. Do you know how hard it is to drink shots while carrying a baby? They only warn you against drinking while pregnant, but what about drinking afterward? It’s such a hazard. Babies bat at your glass of wine while you’re just trying to finish a bottle called “Mad Housewife.”
This is my ultra-sassy tequila shot face because *clearly* I love the taste. Won’t this face lure men? I won’t be able to keep them away…from drinking more alcohol to forget they saw this image. Like Helen of Troy with the face that launched a thousand ships, this is the face that launched a thousand shots of tequila to increase my attractiveness.