My sweet boy Nathan turns five years old tomorrow so we celebrated today because there has been enough of other people celebrating during Mother’s Day Week! Instead of a huge honking birthday, we just had a small honking birthday at Chuck E. Cheese with just his cousins Isabella and Alejandro. I chose a simple combination of pizza, drinks, and cake and considered it good.
Then when we arrived, the table next to us had gone rolling in the deep with the goody bags and balloons and cups with a swirly straw. GAAAAH! A swirly straw! I don’t care about stupid excesses like fancy straws being one reason why terrorists hate us, I HATE US. Luckily, I didn’t have to yell at Nathan, “LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! NOTHING TO SEE HERE!” and then shake his head while blowing a whistle, like he had just taken downed a tequila shooter at Señor Frogs in Cabo. He was off playing games and shoving his hundred million tokens into the skeeball game and then forcing me to congratulate him every time he just threw the ball into the air.
Yay Nathan! You’ve gone five years without being charged with aggravated assault. GREAT JOB, KID.
TJ really loved walking around and being all cute. He picked up the Chuck E. Cheese payphone, placed it behind his head and said, “ALLOO?” Can you believe that! Also, I didn’t realize that in the bottom frame, I juxtaposed his baby head with THE WORST PART OF A HORSE. Great job, Mona. Did you go to school to be an idiot or are you naturally that way?
There was some trouble with Nathan when the mouse finally arrived. Nathan was nice and high-fived him and then he walked back and sat in front of his pizza slice, instead chewing on his food and not participating in what I had paid money for, money that I would have rather spent on myself. Just being honest! Okay, that’s not really honest. I would rather have spent the money on inventing a mirror that repeats only nice things to me when I look into it, things like, “Wow, Mona, that face rash is really going away. The ointment’s really helping, huh!”
Nathan did enjoy the best part of the birthday package: the ticket blaster. I was hoping that some of the tickets would just stick to the chocolate cake smeared on his face, but he had his own way to spend the experience:
Happy birthday my sweet boy.