There are some things I hate on the buses in Seattle, namely people who use more than one seat, sitting their entitled bottoms on one seat and their coach bags on the other and people who don’t give up their seats for the elderly, pregnant, or people with small children, especially if they’re male. I’m really progressive about most gender constructs but when it comes to dudes being douches on the Seattle metro bus, I get irate. I see this and think of my boys need to learn to NOT do that along with other y-chromosome offenses like way too baggy pants and refusing to get up when there are women standing.
The other day, I was standing on a crowded bus when an elderly man asked the teenage girl in front of me if she wanted his seat. She accepted and they traded places, so I had to witness this guy continue to chat up a girl I could have given birth to (if I were a teen mom who didn’t teach her daughter that there are always strings attached, especially if it’s from Old Man McCreepster) plus I had to stand up with a view of an old man’s back.
When the bus stopped, the teen got up and made her way to the front and the old man looks back at me and then took the seat instead of offering it up to another lady, though older and dare I say HOTTER! If you have the vision of an old man and your driving privileges are already revoked.
Of course when I left, I huffed at him because that’s what I do instead of being an adult and getting the huffy bike hill over things. I had to show an old man in the most passive aggressive way that he just missed out on having a moment with someone who loves older dudes! Hello! My husband is 27 years older than I am. I love older men! Their memory is failing so all my stories are new! Fresh! I also like to eat at 5 PM and sleep by 8. I like to complain about the weather and haggle with cashiers about the price of the butterscotch candy that I swear I saw was on sale. I know some things about social security and Medicare! I am the life of the party if the party is held in the rec room of a retirement community. I put the “active” in “Independent living for active seniors.”
But this guy totally missed that opportunity. This guy will never know that. I hope when he looks at himself in the mirror before he goes to bed at 7, he remembers how he wronged that beautiful and blurry woman. He will shake his head in regret, reach for his joint pain ointment and realize it’s empty.