Not even a week into this year and I’m already slipping.
I managed to make on person laugh at the open mic this week. A man who stopped making out with his girlfriend long enough to yell, “AHHHH!” at my punchlines. I hope that was because of my jokes.
I’ve been waking up at 4 am and since I can’t get back to sleep, I play Words With Friends on my iPhone, only to find that someone used both a “q” and a “z” to annihilate me and I might as well return the English degree I earned because the last four words I played were: ball, hat, oh and cap.
My kindergartner and I have the same working vocabulary which is cute when you’re five, but when you’re in your late 20s, people will ask if you’ve recently had a stroke because you forget that your mouth is open sometimes and the only excuse for that is brain trauma.
At least I’m succeeding in the bright scarf department.





I love your pink scarf. I have one just like it!
Well, as your insomnia buddy, I appreciate your playing WWF with me at 4am.
However… I’m pretty sure you’re beating me on every single game we’ve got going right now so I don’t know what you mean about ball, cap, hat.