slim for Saipan

I spend a lot of time worrying about my upcoming trip to Saipan which is NEXT MONTH! My biggest worry is the flight there, the longest leg of it being 10 hours with TJ on my lap. What will I do!? I don’t worry about the subsequent flights after that–the four hours to Guam and then the final, glorious hour-long flight to Saipan. I don’t think the 3:00 am final flight will be packed and then, maybe then, I can plop him on the seat next to me and then PEACE JOYOUS PEACE.

I have some ideas about what to pack–mostly Trader Joe’s snacks and little wrapped-presents so TJ will have lots to eat and play with and of course this will occupy him until he sleeps for eight of the ten hours, right? I am not going to drug my son even though that idea has been tossed my way. Though I’m tempted by the idea of ether-soaked rags, not for my son, but for myself because I doubt that I’ll be able to sleep. Ether looks so effective in murder mysteries, right before the murder part, of course.

And then I worry about how I look, how I will look to my family there. My body, weight, hair were all subject to UNSOLICITED COMMENTS as if every time I entered a room, my face begged the ladies around me, “Hey, can someone tell me if I look today? And only give me an answer that will make me cry while I am eating!”

Maybe none of that nonsense will happen and I will be serenaded with a sincere “heyyyy girl!” whenever I walk into a room and not, “Heyyy girl! You’re not afraid of gout?”

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