the world’s only female chamorro comedian


(photo credit: Boni)

Alternate title: THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE

My show at Naked Fish was the best night of my life and the best night I’ve ever had as a comedian. I’ve been performing at open mics and in small shows since this past December and this was my first time I headlined. I had been nervous for weeks because I was performing in front of people who had known me my whole life and others who may have heard I was performing nd wondered who was this Japanese lady with a Chamorro last name.

Boni had asked me last month if I wanted to do a show, with the proceeds going to the CNMI Autism Society. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity because when Boni asks you to do something: YOU DO IT. Boni is beautiful inside and out. She is a devoted educator who cares about her students and teachers. She has such stunning and classic Chamorrita features, I wonder why she isn’t the on the face of every product at the I Love Saipan store.

I had another dress in mind, but I’m so glad I stole this number from my friend Kim. She is a hot mama and I knew she would have some sexy dresses like this. It worked perfectly because I was so incredibly hot during my set, if I had planned what I originally thought of, I would be sweating . I couldn’t find one of those white Budweiser babe dresses or a large t-shirt with a sexy woman in a bikini. File under REGRETS.

I had my hair done just that afternoon and I was under a humidity curse. Throughout my glorious stay, my hair continued to puff and puff out like I needed a rake it comb it (how ridiculous is that, the only downside of being in paradise was the trouble with my hair.) Bobbie dropped me off at the beauty salon next to the restaurant because she also had to pick up our other sister and her husband. Wouldn’t it be so awkward if I didn’t show up because I couldn’t get a ride?

The place filled up quickly and guests were sat in the overflow seating on the side and on the patio. I kept seeing familiar faces everywhere and I loved going through the crowd and saying hi to people. People were so incredibly kind as I said, “Can I have some of your food? My family is at my table and they are only feeding me celery.” And no sooner had I said that (multiple times! no shame in my game!) that very sweet souls took pity on me and pushed delicious plates of tuna poke and chicken kelaguen my way.


My sisters Arlene and Bobbie.

I asked my sister later why she was monitoring my drinking and only giving me vegetables before I went on stage. “Were you afraid I was going to get drunk?” I asked.

“No,” she said, “I was afraid you were going to get gassy!” THANKS, SISTER.


hot mama Tami!


Along came Polly!

I was nervous at first especially since Jay and Shar KILLED IT and I kept thinking, how am I going to go on after them? They were both hilarious. Jay talked about the shady moves cheapskates pull when the collection basket comes around during mass (My wallet’s in the car!). Shar had some super funny abbreviations and definitely owned the stage. They are both teachers and the young adults in their classes are so lucky to have such hilarious people as their mentors.


Me and Jay! SO HANCHUM!

Here’s the video of my portion of the show, filmed by my sister Bobbie. There will be a DVD sent my way, so consider this what happens when your sister thinks she is more steady than a tripod. LOVE YOU SIS! This is not safe for work, especially if you work for a Catholic calendar company. So be warned.

It really was a dream come true, to arrive home after such a long, long time away and be able to make a room full of friends, old and new, laugh and to add to people having a good time for a good cause.

The proceeds from the ticket sales went to the CNMI Autism Society as well as 20% of all the food and drink sales at Naked Fish (Thanks Butch!). ROFL for a Reason was possible thanks to other sponsors: Mar Pac, Naked Fish, Bison Relations and the Autism Society of the CNMI. Thank you thank you thank you!

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Comments

  1. Angelo says:

    Only? That makes you the best.
    Angelo recently posted..Mother Nature Comments On My Mullet

  2. Carrie says:

    Mona! You rock!
    Carrie recently posted..Love Languages

  3. Angella says:

    I don’t have time to watch the whole video right now, but watched the first five minutes. SO proud of you, Mona, and happy for you, too. You deserve all of The Awesome. :)
    Angella recently posted..Dealing With Childhood Anxiety

  4. Boni says:

    Stunning and classic are you, my dear friend. That was the most fun I ever had doing something meaningful. P.S. Open invitation to James Cameron! I can’t think of the Marianas Trench without thinking of that!
    Boni recently posted..If Anyone Asks, Tell Them I’m Hungover

  5. Boni says:

    P.P.S. I say you go on tour in Da States :)

  6. heather says:

    Watched the YooToobe video last night. I couldn’t hear everything, but what I heard was fabulous. Clearly you were in your element, and it must have been great to be surrounded by such a supportive crowd when you tackled your biggest show to date. Nice job Mona! You rock.
    heather recently posted..The E-book as DVD

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  1. [...] who was back in the islands after 9 years of living in Seattle.  I’m still laughing at Mona‘s depiction of her mother speaking Spanish to strangers in Seattle to demonstrate the [...]

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