We signed Nathan up for the Cub Scouts a few weeks ago. He hasn’t been involved in structured, team activities so we thought this would be a good way to teach him about sportsmanship and other lessons he’s not going to learn from Mario Party or especially from me since I can only teach him when to pull the Lean Cuisine out of the microwave and stir.
Nathan has enjoyed the few meetings and was very excited because last night was the Pinewood Derby. He and his dad worked on the car and I was excited for him. Then of course, like everything I wish for as a parent, it wasn’t the Hakuna Matata magical evening.
Nathan broke off some of the washers from his car shortly after we arrived because he was dropping it on ground (the cars had to weigh five ounces). Mike chided him and I said it was going to be okay to which Mike said, “No! It’s not going to be okay!” Some parents turned their heads our way and I wanted to shrivel up and disappear. Mike finally found someone with a hot glue gun and got the weight back on the car and apologized for yelling.
I took TJ outside because he was growing increasingly cranky. I saw three parents outside talking near where TJ had shuffled to and as I walked toward TJ, I could hear them talking about the parent who scolded his son. I knew who they were talking about and I wanted but didn’t want to hear anything. I didn’t say anything because I was already growing frustrated with how poorly Mike had reacted and I trying not to be the crazy woman who blows up at strangers. I could imagine their saying, “Oh we weren’t saying anything!”
Nathan ran outside to me, gave me a hug and ran back in. One dad said, “Did you see his shirt?” Nathan’s shirt read, “Homework is Pointless!” with a cartoon pencil with its lead tip broken off. I could just see how they were surveying my son adding that with my loud husband and I was getting frustrated at the whole thing. Back inside, TJ wasn’t having it either, he kept running toward the stage in the school gymnasium where the derby was held so I lifted his flailing body toward the exit.
I saw the woman’s baby being held by another lady, so as I exited with TJ, I said, “Look there’s a baby!” and the second woman gave me a cold, flat tone, looking only at TJ: “Oh. Hi buddy.”
Here’s something that happens when you have kids: if you don’t want to talk to someone directly, you can talk to the children or speak in a passive agressive way using your children’s voice. Like, “Can you say hi to the nice lady?” or “Can’t you see that white lady is getting upset?” So When woman #2 who had the same curly hair as the first said, “Oh hi buddy,” she didn’t have to say hi to me and I didn’t have to say hi to her, but I thought it might be present an opportunity for two grown women to finally say hi, we both have kids here.
Then the other woman came in, swooped past me and lifted the baby from the other woman’s arms like I was going to place a curse on the child. The only spell I would ever place on a baby would be that the child would not have the same mean-mugging face as her mother. Bitchface curse lifted! Villagers rejoice! I could tell the door was shut for any chance of my saying to either lady, “Hi, my name is Mona! We’re new here! Group hug!” So I carried my squirming kid outside to the school playground while Mike and Nathan continued watching the race.
So that probably isn’t the jerkiest thing that has ever happened to me, but yes, in what could have been a great night, I had two curly-haired medusa full bush beasts giving me the cold shoulder. They probably have these mammoth bushes that cannot be tamed and that’s why they’re so awful to people because if you have a bush that big, it probably chafes. And I understand, girl. Life must be tough.
Siri is no help.
Nathan’s car came in second during some of the races, third overall. I’m still on the fence whether this is worth the effort, if he can handle losing, which is very hard for him at this point. We’ll be back next week and no one will talk to me (I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS!) but I’ll have a son who is happy to be there and is always first place in my heart.