1. In this week’s issue of OLD LADY MO, I hurt my tailbone! I fell down the stairs and landed three steps down with so much pain, my kids ran to me, hovering around like vultures asking, “You fell down, Mommy? You got hurt?” My kids are the best detectives on the show Law & Order, Obvious Victims Unit.
The pain was pretty intense for a while. It wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t breathe, but I felt whenever I stood up or whenever my kids tried to use my splayed body as a trampoline which was one too many times. After a few days, I googled my issues and my tailbone didn’t seem broken, just bruised which was painful enough for me to tell everyone! Everyone must know about my struggle! Also it was so painful that I could only sit with my legs crossed and one butt cheek raised up like I was trying to be a dainty woman about to fart something major.
The ironic thing is I fell down the stairs because I had to put socks on to work out to Zumba on my Wii U, which has been my favorite thing to do on the Wii U. I’ve never taken a Zumba class and judging by the way I poorly repeat the moves, I will never take one outside the safe, confines of my living room where the only judges are TJ and Nathan, one who says, “Good job Mommy! High-five!” and the other, “Um, you did a little good but not really.”
I’m feeling much better now, which means I can return to working out to a very fun routine, despite some of the instructors wearing wedge sneakers and hammer pants. But I’m especially relieved that my fall wasn’t more serious because my friend told me that she knew of a doctor who would treat these cases by sticking his finger up their butts and popping the tailbone back into place. Nope! I don’t even want to do that ever. WOW MUCH PAIN. NO LIKE. So yay, back to Zumba, without any traumatizing medical experiences. No butt stuff, thank you.
2. My son is obsessed with gaining more characters for his Nintendo 3DS, a process I’m not all together sure about, but it just involves taking your 3DS and going into places where other people have a 3DS and it virtually links you up. These characters appear in your Street Plaza and you can use them to play other mini-games. Something like that. But the kicker is that you have to physically bring your device to a place where other people have also brought their device. We gained a lot of characters at the airport and some downtown during the Seahawks Parade. So of course he wants more.
Every day, I stick the 3DS in my purse, then walk around the university campus during my lunch break and on the way home, cruising for nerds for my son. I’ve become really good at profiling these groups, searching for people who look dorky enough to play Animal Crossing. I wade through these crowds, looking like Old Lady Mo searching for a memory that will never return, trudging along with my big purse and scoffing at these young people wearing denim shorts with tights. I did it first, people!
3. My sister is in town! For a few days, so it’s never enough. It’ll never be enough time to spend with my family, especially someone like my sister Arlene, who is so incredibly talented. My sister is someone who just knows. She knows that Kool-Aid lemonade can be used in the place of the much-coveted Simply Yours Lemon Powder. She can create elaborate crafts like fancy diaper cakes. She’s just good.
We spent a day clothes shopping for her, during which she asked that I stop choosing clothes that make her look like Mom, even though, that is our destiny. We are destined to become a small Chamorro woman who will tell her children how many people like her and that she can sleep in their beds because she’s so close.
My sister is staying at her son’s house. A house that has this beautiful woman posted up. I had to edit it so it’s family friendly and you also know who is the owner.
My sister arrived with a lot, a lot of goodies from Saipan and Japan, which I will gladly be eating until my fingers are too fat I’ll have to text with a pen in my mouth.
I have only a few more days with my sister and I can tell you now that I miss her already.