my body is my body

 

 I weighed myself for the first time since December and I’m only 8 pounds away from what I consider my comfortable weight, the weight I was when I went to Saipan.  It made me so happy, like one voice in my head said, it’s not so bad Mona, go ahead and make the buffet reservation and the other voice said, what buffet do you go to Mona where you make a reservation? You know you’re just going to the Chinese buffet where you walk in and they say, “Welcome back! We have all the crab legs you like so much! And we’ll refill the tray quickly this time so you don’t get mad!” And I have to pretend like I don’t know what they’re talking about, that there has been some sort of mistake because I am not a crab leg buffet lover and then all the voices in my head yell in thunderous unison: “YOU’RE A LYING LIAR, MONA!”

You know what, I’m okay with my body right now. I could be better, skinnier, leaner, stronger, yada yada yada, but I can also be what I am at this very moment and be totally fine with that.  It is what it is. I know I’ll always be on some sort of diet, some sort of new thing I can yell at the office break room because I lack attention. And of course, I could always be searching for a quick fix based on how much time I’ll need to transform! If I have a vacation in 90 days, I’ll buy the P90x DVDs, then not do them and then panic because suddenly the vacation is 21 days away and then I’ll buy the 21 Day Fix but then I won’t do that either and I’ll be searching for How to Look Skinny Instantly which will just be a package containing a selfie stick for a very long angled shot, Vaseline to cover the camera lens, and a lemon to suck on so the sour face will make my cheeks look so skinny! 

After I got on the scale, I bought some cheap prosecco and it really did feel like a celebration.

 

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Comments

  1. Get it, girl.

  2. There is such a double standard when it comes to body image issues. We want this body, we say love the body you have, we gobble up images and stories about models of “normal” size celebrate the “plus” size models for a week, make catty comments about how stars “let themselves go” if they gain 5 pounds, etc. I hate it.
    daniel recently posted..Hulk Birthday Party

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