thanks and tribulations

Thanksgiving was love love lovely. Despite it being the first Thanksgiving in two years without my mom to celebrate, I made a lot of food and only managed to screw up the stuffing. I added too much water or butter or whatever but it didn’t look like any recipe unless I was trying to make wet dog food.    
Anyway! We had a nice Thanksgiving lunch of human dishes and desserts with a turkey I successfully seasoned with my two hands. Then had to wash my hands because I wanted to look at my phone then I seasoned and prepared then I washed my hands again because I had to look at my phone once more. I am a broken human with unlimited data but I am still thankful.

  
This has been a long month. A long ass emotionally trying, crying, ripping, long breath kind of month. My mom had surgery, she flew back to Saipan, we survived parent-teacher conferences for both kids, I made some hard decisions and audibly shamed a beer shelf at the grocery store because I didn’t agree with the price. And I also had to google, once again, what side of the turkey is the breast side. I’m not proud. 

  
But my boys were sweet and said things like, “I love you my beautiful mommy,” and I don’t know what YouTube video they lifted that from but I’ll take off the restrictions if I get more lines like that. I love them so much and these days of young childhood are so fleeting–when they’re both here, sleeping on bunkbeds, wearing each other’s shirts: the young one with sleeves long as a wizard’s, the older one in a shirt tight enough for Cabo spring break. 

  
I want more days like this, more of Christmas light watching, diner eating, Halloween movie watching, new shoe shuffling life with jokes and gripes and these boys who give me material every day. 

  

November isn’t over but I am  ready to put up the tree and say hello to more of this kind of celebration. 

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