A letter to Mona of Two Days Ago

Dear Mona of Two Days Ago,

I know you had a great idea to get a picture of yourself jumping. But, you have junk in the trunk and gravity working against you. You can always call this photo your homage to Unsolved Mysteries, greatest show about unsolved mysteries (that title was so fitting!). Why would someone think that she could be suspended in mid-air long enough for a photo? We’ll never know.

i'm a ghost

Love,

Future Mona

September 29, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 2 Comments 

A letter to my teenage self

Dear teen Mona,

Here’s the only advice I can give you: stop wearing snakeskin pants. Just because Salma Hayek did it in Traffic does not mean that you can replicate that level of hotness. Please stop. It looks like you skinned an anaconda shortly after it swallowed another anaconda.

You are young and all the mistakes and successes you will make will lead you to me. You will have an awesome career with a nurturing and flexible company but you will have to suffer through demanding, post-menopausal bosses who will call you up on your honeymoon to ask you if you can drive in to work on an Excel sheet. Months after she let you go because there was no funding and she smack-talked you out of a job.

You will have a wonderful husband and awe-inspiring son, but first there will be dreadful, expensive timesink boyfriends. Don’t pay for any of their bills. You know what you should do with the car payment you’ll make to be a “good girlfriend”? Burn it. Or send it via Western Union to me and we’ll play out scenes from Back to the Future! Lord knows, I’ll need it. Which means you’ll need it, too.

Sometimes you will miss your friend Isa so much, you will drive with the airconditioning at full blast, pointed at your face, so no one will know that you were crying. Someday you might be able to stop asking yourself what you could have done, what you could have said, but really, it was all out of your hands. Be prepared, but know that most days are not like that.

You will not be a lawyer, but you will still be a writer. You will learn how wonderful it is to be a mother, how life changes and continues and all you can do is just be prepared to completely unprepared. It’s great. Trust me on this.

Love,

Future Mona

This post is thanks to the Cafemom Writing Challenge. Join in, peeps!

September 28, 2007 | Filed Under me | 6 Comments 

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