The Elph-in King

cheese

cheese

This weekend was glorious. Whenever I have a vacation, a day off, or a rare hour when I’m at a grocery store in the middle of the day and not at the 6PM rush, I like to pretend that my life is like that all the time. I’m like Destiny’s Child and I don’t have to work to pay my automobills, telephone bills and baby, I can just chill. Luckily, very real things happened like my husband buying me an early Christmas gift that I’ve been pining for: a Canon PowerShot SD1200 IS Digital ELPH.

I’ve been needing a new point and shoot for a while now. The only one I’ve ever had was a Minolta Mike gifted me about six years ago which now has a battery compartment that needs to be taped shut. I have my large DSLR, but the Canon 30D and 24-105 L-lens combined weighs as much as my toddler. Plus, I need to have something small for the delivery room. Mike thinks he can use my large Canon and just “press the button” but do you know, dear internet friends, how many times I’ve had to TELL HIM WHERE THE BUTTON IS?! Do you know how many times I’ve had to place his finger on the actual button, smile and grit through my teeth, “YOU HAVE TO HOLD THE BUTTON DOWN!!! DOWN!” Then he just gives up or the picture turns out blurry or worse, it’s not even of me, it’s of the man over my shoulder, who now has a lovely photo of himself on a stranger’s camera.

This is why all the photos of our family have been taken by me. You can trust me behind the camera. I love my husband and am truly grateful for this great gift, but the first photo of our second child is important to me, it’s something I’ve included in my nesting worries. Like what if it’s not of the baby!?! It’s of the nurse’s shoulder! And what if people get the first photo and go, “Wow, she gave birth to 8 pounds of Gaussian Blur!” If I’ve just pushed out a baby, I don’t want to give photography lessons. Can I get a witness?! All my (dilated) ladies?!

But this camera? It’s perfect. It’s light, it’s Canon, it’s tiny. And now Mike can see what’s going on in the live view screen, no guessing where to point the lens. Plus, Nathan loves the photos we take at bedtime. And you know what they say about love: love means never having to say you’re sorry. For a choke-a-hold.

love

love

November 30, 2009 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 5 Comments 

in which I’m thankful I’m not dead

So it started with the naked lady I drew on the grocery list. It was a headless naked lady with large boobs, perched on top of my request for PIE DOUGH. I draw naked ladies on the lists I hand over to my husband because I am 12, and I think it’s hilarious. (If I need chicken breasts, I will write “Chicken boobs, 38C”) It can also keep him focused and since I really needed pie dough, I had to strategically place the item in a spot he would remember.

Only, Mike didn’t read “PIE DOUGH,” he read it as “PRE-DOUGH.” So there he was in the grocery store, already busy in the Thanksgiving madness, searching for PRE-DOUGH. He finally stopped an employee, and holding the crumpled list, he explained that his wife wanted pre-dough, something for a cake.

“You mean a pie?” she answered.

“Yeah! A pie!” he exclaimed.

The woman then ripped the list from his hands, scanned the items like flour, rolls, and spinach dip until her eyes stopped on THE BIG NAKED LADY WITH THE ENORMOUS BOOBS.

She paused a second before answering, “I don’t know what aisle I’d find THAT ON, SIR!” And without another word, she led him to the refrigerated section where the boxes of dough waited to be handled by pervy men with naked women on their grocery lists, thanks to wives with small brains and low-standards for comedy.

November 26, 2009 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 9 Comments 

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