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in which I’m thankful I’m not dead

So it started with the naked lady I drew on the grocery list. It was a headless naked lady with large boobs, perched on top of my request for PIE DOUGH. I draw naked ladies on the lists I hand over to my husband because I am 12, and I think it’s hilarious. (If I need chicken breasts, I will write “Chicken boobs, 38C”) It can also keep him focused and since I really needed pie dough, I had to strategically place the item in a spot he would remember.

Only, Mike didn’t read “PIE DOUGH,” he read it as “PRE-DOUGH.” So there he was in the grocery store, already busy in the Thanksgiving madness, searching for PRE-DOUGH. He finally stopped an employee, and holding the crumpled list, he explained that his wife wanted pre-dough, something for a cake.

“You mean a pie?” she answered.

“Yeah! A pie!” he exclaimed.

The woman then ripped the list from his hands, scanned the items like flour, rolls, and spinach dip until her eyes stopped on THE BIG NAKED LADY WITH THE ENORMOUS BOOBS.

She paused a second before answering, “I don’t know what aisle I’d find THAT ON, SIR!” And without another word, she led him to the refrigerated section where the boxes of dough waited to be handled by pervy men with naked women on their grocery lists, thanks to wives with small brains and low-standards for comedy.

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  I'm Mona. I'm a 27-year-old full-time working mom of a boy named Nathan (born 2006), wife of a man named Mike and a resident of Seattle. I am originally from a small island called Saipan and I try to stay out of the rain, mostly.
  
  "Kirida" is a Chamorro word bestowed on females, mostly the youngest or the favorite. I am the youngest of five children so you can figure out who the "kirida" was. Read more here.

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