2011 in review

The grand annual 2011 missive is in effect. I didn’t do one last year. But I’m on top of it this year! Yay!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?


I attended BlogHer in San Diego!

I went to Atlanta for Conversations with Coca-Cola.

Mike and I had fanciest dinner in the history of fancy pants dinners.

I took up running and literally ran through fire in the Seattle Hell Run.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


I made a resolution right after the new year to lose weight and I did. I lost 40 pounds of baby, buffet and bbq weight and now I’m still PHAT but now it means Pretty Hot And Tempting, not Pretty Hot, Active Thyroid.

2012 is going to be my year, friends! There will be more stage time, more gym time, more Mona is worth it time. There will be no more $189 speeding tickets. In March, I will be vacationing on Saipan with my feet deep in the sand and my hand firmly wrapped around a Blue Hawaii cocktail.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No one in my family gave birth, but I did see some very cute babies on the internet. It’s definitely not the same, especially since my monitor doesn’t give the same intoxicating baby smell. I’ve tried.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My uncle died this summer which was very sad, but that meant my mom and my uncle flew into Seattle and I love any time I can spend with my mom.

5. What countries did you visit?


No, but walking through the searing, hellfire of downtown Atlanta in the summer felt like another world.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Boundaries. Motivation. Focus. A Mona-centric plan.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My first baby turned five and my second baby turned one. Also, Nathan started kindergarten. My baby!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Reprogramming my body and idea of healthy and of course, taking the stage again.



9. What was your biggest failure?
Not using my adult woman voice enough.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a huge cold that lasted 6 weeks and I gutted my knees on the Seattle streets. This is why I take cold meds when I’m not sick and I watch where my pointy heels land.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

And a $1800 roundtrip ticket to Saipan, which will be used in March. Woop Woop. I also bought boots in the leopard, leather and high heeled varieties, despite Mike asking which street corner I’ll be working to pay those off.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husband Mike. He’s my rock, sounding board, partner and best friend. Also deserving celebration: Nathan’s teachers, our boys’ daycare, our neighbors for babysitting and delivering food!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine. I could have been a better person. I stole a parking spot at IKEA. THERE I SAID IT! WEIGHT. OFF. MY. CHEST.



14. Where did most of your money go?
Plane tickets. Bills. My hair.

15. What did you get really excited about?
Blogher. My hot mom body! Finally buying my own ticket to Saipan.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
My anthem of this year and the song I will carry into 2012 is Florence + Machine’s Shake It Out. I love her voice and these lyrics are haunting:

“And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back / So shake him off”

That’s what I want to do in 2012. I want to shake off the devils that are holding me from living the life I want to: a happier existence that warrants much dancing.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier.

– thinner or fatter? THINNER.
– richer or poorer? Poorer, but it was worth every penny.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?


Save money. Be patient. Be present. Take more awesome family trips.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?


Not aligning my life with where my strengths and happiness are.

20. How did you spend Christmas?



We opened up presents at home and then later, after our food comas had worn off, we ate a massive amount more up north with family. We exchanged gifts and talked to each other when not devouring food, food, food.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
No one new, just everyone who was already in my life.

22. What was your favorite TV program?



Breaking Bad is my favorite show, even though it’s strange to say, yes I really love this show about a chemistry teacher turned meth-making wizard. But on a lighter note, have you seen Happy Endings? My favorite new comedy this year! Please watch this as an example.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?



No.

24. What was the best book you read?
I read a lot of funny books this year like Bossypants, but the best of them was, “I Killed: True Stories of the Road from America’s Top Comics” by Ritch Synder. You don’t have to be a comedian to love all the anecdotes about Rodney Dangerfield, crappy managers, hecklers or the joy that is making strangers laugh.



25. What was your greatest musical discovery?



Kreayshawn, though I only liked her one song.

26. What did you want and get?
An iPad!




27. What did you want and not get?
I didn’t hear “yes” to some questions I had asked, but I was asking all the wrong questions. Yes, I’m typing this as I’m hearing a promo for Oprah’s new show.




28. What was your favorite film of this year?




Drive, plus the soundtrack is awesome.

29. What did you do on your birthday?
I went to the spa thanks to a gift certificate from my husband and it was glorious.



30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Figuring things out in January.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Bold color, red lips.





32. What kept you sane?
My family. Writing. Comedy. Blogging.




33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?


Ryan Gosling.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?



I voted to get the privatize liquor sales in the state of Washington.

35. Who did you miss?



I miss my family and friends on Saipan.

36. Who was the best new person you met?



All the bloggers I met at BlogHer! Plus, the Jimmy Dean Sausage sun was very, very nice in person.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.



I am worthy.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.



“I change shapes just to hide in this place but I’m still, I’m still an animal” – Miike Snow, Animal.

The Niño

Originally posted on 12/25/2008

broken baby jesus

Since Saipan is across the international date line, they’ve already celebrated Christmas. Christmas in the Pacific was wonderful. There was sun, roasted pigs, and my mother who told exclaimed about how much she spent on prime rib ($80!).

Since my Mom was (and is) a member of the choir, my sister Bobbie and I would follow her to midnight mass. Even though a Catholic mass is usually an hour, the midnight mass would drag on forever, probably to punish all the people who were just there for the holiday. I wish the church would offer two rooms in the back. One would be a crying room for those who were with children and the other room would be a mini-discotheque for those who want to get their floss on. Hey, if the Vati-can, so can you!

The local news station would also film the mass and pan the camera from one side to the other. Bobbie and I would take turns, one would sleep while the camera moved on and the other would elbow the sleeping one so she wouldn’t be broadcasted sleeping during mass. But it’s hard to look engaged when someone’s just elbowed you awake, so if you watched the midnight mass and wondered why that girl looked like she was wide-eyed and tweaking, my sister just shoved me and I was trying to secretly wipe the drool off my face.

Another of my most vivid memories was celebrating the Niño. Every village parish had an assigned group of people who would walk carrying the baby Jesus to each house in the neighborhood. A truck whose speakers played Christmas music sung in Chamorro would follow behind the procession so you would know they were approaching. My mom would lament that in her day, it wasn’t a stereo, but rather people singing while sitting in the bed of a truck.

When you heard the music approaching, you gathered your family to welcome the procession. A member of the group had a box with a slot for accepting money donations for the church. So after you shoved some money into the box, another member of the group would hand you the Niño which you would bring into your living room and everyone in the house would kiss the Niño, usually on the foot.

I would try to get out of this tradition because they usually arrived extremely early and since I had spent many hours on Christmas Eve chatting with my internet boyfriends (one year, a guy from a Denmark, another, a guy from Canada), I was so tired. But my mother would not have it. I would protest that I could not kiss the Niño because I was in a faded Garfield nightshirt where Garfield is on a scale and the words “WEIGHT IS JUST A NUMBER!” hovers over him. I would stammer that God knew I was in my Garfield pajamas but my mom would still yank me toward the living room so I could kiss the Niño, cat garb and all.

Did you have any Christmas traditions growing up? We haven’t settled on any traditions for our family, other than someone crying, someone drinking and someone yelling to shut the door, don’t let the heat out! Yes. I’m all three of those people. Merry Christmas!

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