I am very honored to be an Angry Reader of the Week! Angry Asian Man is a phenomenal site Other things that make me angry:
1. Stuck-up Seattle moms. Sub-categories: a) all of them
2. Target charging me $40 for a hoodie and a sweatshirt. Those are not Target prices. If I wanted to pay that much, I would go to a higher end store, not some place where I expect the clothes to last as long as those foam flip-flops the nail salon gives you when you try to wear them as real shoes.
3. The college student at the gym who wouldn’t give me an extra white towel and full-on towel shamed me with her reply: “Ughhhh! That’s only if you’re going to the sawwwwwhhhh-na!”
“Okay, I’m going to the sauna.”
“Ughhhhhh! you’ll have to come baaaaahhhhhcccck!”
So what angers me is that young, congested valley girl voice that is probably too clogged from inhaling wieners and gets to wield her white towel power over me. I am a married, tired, worn out mother of two boys. My voice is extremely clear.
4. Male comics who use their joke bits on me instead of speaking like a real person. The minute I hear, “Well, my smartphone is ignorant!” I *clap* am *clap* done *clap*
5. “You’re really [insert “compliment” I don’t care to hear] for a comedian”. I am here to be funny not to compete in a beauty pageant I sure as hell don’t belong in.
Things that don’t make me angry: my kids! Who extend their arms to me and yell, “Give me a huggie!” Or kiss me on the lips and forget that they were only going to give me five kisses and somehow lose count. Or love their mother despite how angry and petty and unnecessarily spiteful she can be because she hugs back, kisses more, and has taught to repeat on command, “Mommy, you’re so young and beautiful. It’s just not fair for the other moms,” because their compliments are the ones that matter. Even the ones I force them to say.