breezeblocks and babies

-I have given away tons of clothes and shoes on my neighborhood Buy Nothing site and it feels good to have less. It feels good to say, “Hi, I have these shoes for women who want to be sexy but have larger than most feet and you don’t want to let society dictate what is and isn’t beautiful so here are some nice Jessica Simpsons pumps. Size 9.”

Giving away goods to strangers is so different from my island looky-loo upbringing, where having a lot meant you had it all shipped in somehow to Saipan, you had the space to place trinkets and clothes and JC Penney catalog goods. But I have no use for combat boots I bought in San Diego for $10 because I’ve never worn them even when this climate called for it or a dress I thought my body would have welcomed by now but since I can’t get it over my bulky shoulders, there will be no dress welcome party or afterparty on my body. It lifts up my heart to see less in my closet and get a message that the mom who picked up the lot loves the new clothes she has, the new to her dresses and heels that have another chance at making a woman feel good today.

-I have been unfriended by a few people on Facebook and Instagram, some surprising, some not. I’m okay with being unfriended by people on Instagram, especially if they are fitwrap sellers and other MLM marketing folk with whom I have little in common. We’ve never met, we never will and it’s okay.

There are some people who unfriend me who were friends in real life and family members. Of course I get a little puzzled when it’s someone I know know and I go into their active profiles and like a bunch of random photos as if to say, “I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.” Because I am a petty shell of a human being who wants to say, “Don’t leave me!” without having to say it, type it, whisper it into the desperate emotion weather patterns that will let everyone know there’s a high chance of thirst in the forecast.

On Facebook, the unfriending is a little more sad, especially when Facebook reminds me that seven years ago we had a nice moment, a sweet exchange and now what remains is an algorithm of mutual friends but no real connection between us. How are you, friend? I hope you are well, I hope you still travel and drink good coffee and even though you took the moment to click yes to, “Do you want to unfriend Mona,” I’ll still treasure that time you asked me how I was and I said I was doing great because I still am.

I love the Alt-J song, “Breezeblocks.” There’s a line where he pleads, “Please don’t go! I’ll eat you whole! I love you so, I love you so.” Sometimes I look at my boys and sing that song in my head, those lines come to me in the moments when they seem so big, so close to leaving me, so full of flight and energy yet their faces still shine with the baby cheeks. I’m okay with friends going away, with clothes and shoes and material things saying hello to their new owners. But my babies? My sweet boys who laughed so hard as I tickled their bellies. I want to consume these moments, eat these memories so there’s no room to click unfriend, no way to block, no button to delete forever.

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Saipan bound!

I’m going to Saipan! I’ve been broadcasting loudly about my trip to Saipan and the two comedy shows I will be headlining.

It’s a big deal. I am going home. I am going home to tell jokes. This is my dream.

My plane ticket has been generously sponsored by Delta Airlines who also was very kind to give my family a discount to pay for Nathan’s ticket. TJ had accompanied me on my last trip and now Nathan will be able to experience the magic that is my home for the first time.

It’s going to be a long journey over. The flight to Japan is 10 hours, then there’s a 6.5 hour layover, then the last flight to Saipan is 4 hours. I’ve bought some snacks, battery pack, the first two Harry Potter books for him and anything that will keep him from yelling on the plane, “I’M BORED!”

We’ll explore the Narita airport, the Pokemon store, and on and on. I might spring for the Delta Sky Lounge passes if we burn through activities quickly, but I’m sure there will be enough for us to do and there will be places to rest when we need to.  I’m excited for real deal sushi and sashimi, he’s excited to get some Pokemon cards.

I can’t wait. I am beyond excited. I want to go home, swim on a beach, order a Budweiser and not hear some Seattle hipster crap judgment, eat all the foods and be with my family, the people who made me who I am and why I tell so many jokes about them.

Saipan is so far away. The flights are long. The journey is endless. You stare out an airplane window and the view is a vast expanse of blue and white waves below. Sometimes there are clouds. Sometimes there is sun. My flight will arrive early in the morning when it is still dark and black outside. First I will see a few lights below then a few more patterns of life. Then there will be the shapes of farms and neighborhoods and then the descent begins and I will see all the glittery beacons of homes and cars and I will grab my son to look through that glass so he can witness the small kingdom we are entering and the tears are there because Mommy is home.

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