A Timehop addiction 

I am addicted to TimeHop, an app that plays with my emotions by reminding me what I posted last year or the year before or six years before that, good lord I have been on the Internet a long time and what do I have to show for it?! Likely nothing because Timehop tells me!  

Last year I posted this photo of my 14-year-old self, wearing way too much makeup the way you did when your mom paid for your glamour shots and wouldn’t be happy unless you looked like a Toddlers and Tiaras contestant who has aged out. Also, I haven’t lost any weight since the trip to San Diego I referenced and I’ve gained tons of weight since the 8th grade. Thanks Timehop! 


Aww itty baby TJ. Five years ago, when he was just a newborn and hadn’t developed the vocal abilities to tell me he was bored of my parenting so he communicated through yawns and pawing at my boobs, the only part of me that interested him.


I’ve had this photo for years and I posted it six years ago. My cousin Alvilynn and I pose with a racoon. She still looks the same (witchcraft or genes, whatever) and now I look like the racoon. Or is it a Wu-Tang panda?

Are you on Timehop? 

My favorite Mona songs

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I was born as Ramona after the patron saint of pregnancy. Not the most fun saint (St. Bibiana, the patron saint of hangovers!), but still important to my mom who prayed that I would be born healthy. If I were a boy, I would be Ramon. If I were a girl, I would be Ramona. So here I am. But only people at work call me Ramona. My friends call me Mona. My family calls me Mo and those in the inner sanctum call me Mo Mo. And my brother called me “Mona Mona Chow Chow Mona” to the theme song of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles which makes no sense at all. Did that stop him?! Of course not.

I love songs with my name in it, if only to erase the awful times Mona is used in pop culture. There’s the movie “Drowning Mona,” there’s a character on Pretty Little Liars who is the worst and even on Mad Men, Mona is Roger Sterling’s first wife. She’s old, nags and sags in comparison to the hot secretary he leaves her to wed. But there are great Mona’s in the world, including me.

Some songs I love with my name in it:

I Heard Ramona Sing – Frank Black
“I heard Ramona sing / And I heard everything /
The speed they’re traveling / They are the only thing / Ramona”

My voice could never inspire a song like this. Helen of Troy’s face launched a thousand ships. My voice launched someone to turn the volume up on the radio when I want to join in on Adele setting fire to the rain.

Mona Lisa – Nat King Cole
This was the first song that was sung to me, before I even knew there was a painting, I knew there was this song. I remember my dad’s friends singing this song and making me think this Mona Lisa lady was probably really really beautiful.

To Ramona – Bob Dylan
Ramona has cracked country lips but he wants to kiss them. She’s a rustic girl who captured his heart. It makes me think of a simple Ramona, a woman without much in this world but a strong soul and a few stories that keeps men listening to every word she says.

Is there a song you love with your name in it?

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