Brunch Boot Camp with Whole Foods and Sur La Table

My mother is in town so when I received an invitation to learn how to have a better Mother’s Day through a Whole Foods and Sur La Table brunch bootcamp with lessons on cocktails, floral arrangements and delicious food, I wanted to bring my mom. She’s the most elegant lady I know, the Duty-Free diva who has never purchased drugstore foundation and definitely never used whiteout to make french tip nails. Sorry mom.

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There was a great spread and some sample Mother’s Day gifts to welcome us and my mom kept remarking, “This is high class!” which is the ultimate compliment for any event.

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We gathered in the gorgeous Sur La Table classroom along with a stunning group of bloggers. Seriously. Bloggers know how to work an outfit, whereas I was in pooch-covering Target dress and flats along with my lack of self-esteem which I am always ready to fill with food and facebook likes. One woman wore a Lularoe dress and I had no shame in asking to feel the fabric because everyone says it’s heavenly.

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After I stopped embarrassing my mom, we were led through a series of lessons on preparing cocktails like a Mango Thai Basil spritzer.

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So delicious!

The Bloody Mary Benedict with Hollandaise was out of this world delicious. I hadn’t thought about topping it with a green bean and I learned that you can reheat hollandaise sauce gently in the microwave which were words directly aimed at yours truly, a sauce lover and microwave power user. 

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We ended the afternoon with a fun lesson on crafting a great floral centerpiece. We learned about the Whole Foods commitment to flowers that are beautiful and locally-grown. The Whole Trade seal on bouquets and flowers signals their guarantee of ethical trade and earth-friendly practices. Plus? They’re goooorgeous. 

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My mom loves flowers, remarks at any home nearby with proper landscaping, lives for gardens. So I knew she would love this activity.

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Here are the results. My flowers are on the left and my mom’s arrangement is on the right. She did say that mine was “too tight!” and her was better. Well then! I do have a long way to go before I’m the kind of cook and master at flowers like she is, but for one afternoon, we got to experience a better brunch thanks to Whole Foods and Sur La Table and now I have something to bring to the brunch table.

more moments of my utmost coolness

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I once saw a woman walk out of the bathroom with a long white trail of toilet paper ribbon stuck to her shoe. I could have let her walk back into the busy restaurant with that flag that we’ve all waved during our lives, but I ran up to her, placed my hand on her shoulder and pointed down. She thought I was pointing to my own feet so she looked up at me and said, “Yeah, nice shoes.”

And then she walked off and I stepped on the toilet paper so it didn’t leave her, even though she had brushed me off like some stranger who grabs women just to draw attention to her own shoes. Which I guess I am now!

If you ever see me with toilet paper stuck to my shoe, spinach lodged in my snaggle teeth, or mascara smeared across my face, I would love to know about it before I do something like take the stage. You’re a good friend.

My favorite bar food is a plate of olives, which are usually castelvetrano. Green, buttery, oily, briny little pockets of happiness. The problem I’ve had is that usually these are not pitted, so I have this big seed in my mouth which I don’t know how to extract without looking like I just emerged from my hut, ran a shell through my hair and shuffled across the sand until I arrived at a downtown Seattle bar and I need to spit a lot and I don’t know how to speak in human language but fish get my struggle. So I hide the olive pits under a napkin but I can’t enjoy myself because I get too self-conscious. Why can’t I enjoy things?

Wow, Mona, is your life so terrible that you can complain about eating food without the illusion that you’ve eaten food? Yeah, pretty much!

My family dropped me off at the bar where I took the picture. It was nice to get a ride and to walk into a happy hour to meet some lady friends with my two boys bidding me farewell. Two smiling faces and small hands waving, “Byeeee Mommy!” as I went into get a drink in a section where no kids are allowed.

Later the ladies and I watched How to Be Single, a movie that only applies to me because I am a millennial in that I am 1,000 years old. I only know ancient methods of mating which were the only things you swiped were matchbooks so you could write down someone’s number but then you threw the matches away because you only made fire with two rocks and a lot of grunting and these demon sticks scared you.

It was easier to find a mate because they also came out of their huts and met you at bars and you knew you were meant to be with the one person who yelled, “HOW DO YOU EAT THESE THINGS!?”

Let’s find a dark bar where you can eat all the olives you want and I’ll get the next drink because it’s 10 PM and that means it’s happy hour.

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